Cool, my turn now! And I've got an idea! I'll give a bunch of free tech to the Klackons, get an alliance with them, and open up touring centers on their worlds too! Sound like a plan to everybody?
(Crashes; screams; tables overturning as the entire cabinet simultaneously reaches for whatever weapon happens to come to hand and trains it on the current Acting Head of RBO-12)
Kidding! Kidding! I just order up a few Scouts at Kakata, so we can do some traveling at least.
2391: Uh-oh. What did Refried say about Karma again?
I didn't mean to interrupt Refrens' report with a travel ad! I didn't! It was just ... oh, forget it. Looks like we're at war with the buggies. Had to happen eventually. I order Kakata to build a Tourist 2.0 - a long range scanner ship, of course! It's got a couple of lasers and a battle computer too: We travel in style, and in complete security, knowing we can always shoot down a stray fighter or two if they happen to come too close! And if you're worried about your safety while you visit our beautiful worlds - don't be worried! We've got bases starting to go up on Berel and Kakata even as we speak! At Meklar tours, we think of everything! Meklar Tours! Book it!
2393: We develop a nigh-useless Personal Deflector Shield ... and Dotomite Crystals! We can now tour more of the galaxy than ever! Refrens suggests that he could research a Class V Planetary Shield and though I point out that class 4 deflectors would make the Klackons' lasers obsolete even against our cruisers, he says, "If our enemies are still firing lasers by the time this tech comes in, we're not going to need the extra shielding." I'm not sure if this makes sense or not, but he's the research minister, and I'm out of my depth outside of travel, so I agree. We also have a choice between Uridium fuel cells and Warp Dissipator. I'm sure we want the fuel cells, but Refrens is insistent that there's no point in extending our range by just one more parsec at this point, so I cave again. I think I'm just still feeling bad about interrupting his report. But he was asleep!
Anyway, the Klackons have Hyper-V Rockets now, just like us, and also have class 2 shields! Refrens says this is "Hopelessly backward technology," but when I ask, "Doesn't that make us hopelessly backward?" he promises to explain some other time. I hope I'm not being a pushover or anything. As long as he buys the tour package, I don't care! Wait, wrong role. But the point is, I'm hopefully getting my karma back! (Is that a real thing? Never mind. We'll go with it anyway.)
2394: Zhardan has finished its factories! We have zero percent unemployment throughout the Meklar empire! Refrofit is actually dancing in the streets of Meklon! I think he might be slightly drunk, actually. Um, he just kissed an automated street sweep-o-matic. I draw the blinds. I haven't actually built any bases, by the way. That's why Admiral Refpect's jumping up and down on the furniture. The thing is, why should I pay maintenance on bases if the bugs aren't really going to attack? I've got a couple almost built, and I can make more if they're needed. Anyway, right now I'm just waiting for my scouts to report. Sweet empire we've got here, though. You should visit.
2395: Wait, no, not you, Ixitixl!! I didn't mean you should visit!
Okay, here's what I know about that fleet: All the little ships are laser fighters that my bases won't care about, especially the Cutlasses, which are very old. One of my Scouts just got to Incedius (you can see it leaving now, toward the red star where my cursor's pointing) and found out the Sabres have Inertial Stabilizers but the Rangers don't, and the Rangers might or might not carry bombs, but they also have something for fighting actual ships. Uh ... and that's it. Maybe I can find out more later on. Anyway, Berel gets all the resources I can throw at it, and starts building actual bases, while I concentrate on bringing in our new research projects as fast as we can, so we can build a defense fleet!
2396: My Tourist reports from Kholdan, and we find out what the Rangers look like!
Uh-oh. This means there are a lot of Hyper-V missiles in the incoming fleet. This calls for emergency measures! My Tourist retreats from Kholdan, and will return to Berel in time to meet the enemy. I also ... wait, what's this? Tyr, that green star south of Kholdan, is a nice big arid world! It doesn't even have bases yet! That's actually very interesting - for later! Right now, there should be a ridiculously high net chance of figuring out at least some kind of technology by next year, especially if you count the spying we're doing on the bugs. We'd also better, because if we want to build a defensive fleet from off-world, next year will be our last chance!
2397: Okay, that red star southwest of the nebula is the Alkari world of Kailis. It's impossible to know what kind of climate it has, but it's probably habitable at least, considering its 69 population. And Aurora is ... something. Maybe a minimal from the look of the thing, but don't bet your microchips on it just yet, with 37 population. And we do learn to build NPGs, but nothing else. Even I know we don't want an Ion Rifle, so our next weapons project will be Scatter Pack V Rockets. All right! Meklon and Jinga will each build a stack of identical NPG fighters, Neutrino 2As and Bs, with relocation orders for Berel! I wanted to call them Tourguards, but I was worried the rest of the oligarchy would get confused. And still great chances that computers or construction tech will be ready for Berel's home-defense fleet by next year!
2398: All right! We have an Improved Space Scanner! And an Automated Repair System! Took us long enough! Looks like Battle Computer Mark V is the only way to improve our computer technology, so that's up next! Likewise for Improved Industrial Tech 6 in construction - in fact, it's the only thing we can research in the field! Aurora does turn out to be a minimal world, and mineral rich (of course - isn't everything?) so we're going to want to take it as soon as we get the chance. And ... the Klackons have scrapped their Cutlass design! This should virtually guarantee that I can save Berel! The blue desert itself builds a fourth base and as many Neutrino 2Cs as it can manage on top of that, and....
2399: The battle is joined!
We lose our poor Tourist and more than half of our fighters, but all the Klackon fighters and two thirds of their Rangers burn before the rest retreat! And our beautiful tourist attraction, the sapphire desert of Berel, is completely unharmed in the fight! Yyyyyyeeesssssss!
Refcon AIssance comes by and tries to rain on my parade with reports that the bugs have a brand-new fighter design, but I have the perfect answer: We're getting a new design too! Kakata will build over 200 small nuclear bombers with reserve fuel tanks: The Tourorist 2s!
2400: Well ... I get another scouting report. That white star over by Klackon space? It's the Omicron asteroid belt. Also, there are some Psilon transports heading for Aurora, so I'm not sure who we'll be attacking when we get there - not that it matters, really. I think the brains and bugs are allies, so ... does that change anything? Whatever; time to go on tour ... with our nuclear bombers! I don't know what the Admiral will think of my attack plan, but it's the best I could do on short notice. I have to admit I feel kind of silly doing all this myself, with Admiral Refpect up next, but I wasn't the one who started this war, and anyway, the bugs and their stupid fleets are a real discouragement to tourism, and the only way to extend our travel routes now is by taking their worlds!
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Next: Going To War!
