"It is in a time of crisis that I accept the title of 20th and highest RBO, gravely aware of my duties. With the previous RBO-20 convicted of war crimes by unanimous vote of the other nineteen Really Brainy Overlords, and all the pilots of our Probes replaced by peaceful Psilons while those loyal to the war criminal are tried in courts martial for betraying their oaths to serve the Psilon people, I must strive to earn the trust of the other peoples of the galaxy. To my predecessor, I say: You are wrong; we will never come to thank you for the horrors you have committed. But I hope and believe that we will one day achieve a true and lasting peace throughout the galaxy, in spite of your ruinous deeds.
"Even now, we are making overtures to the peoples of the galaxy who have had the restraint not to declare war: The environmentalist Mrrshans, Klackons, and Bulrathi. You all are well aware by now of the Silicoids' intransigence in the face of galaxy-wide demands that they end their flagrant acts of pollution, and so with the blessing of these friendly species and of the population at large, we are sending a starfleet to the known pollution center of Neptunus to investigate and enforce compliance with the galaxy's new environmental policies.
"With memories of Whynil fresh, I wished to leave our ships unarmed, but reports that the Silicoids had established a number of missile bases on the surface for the express purpose of repelling peaceful ships and preventing us from establishing Environmental Impact Reports has forced our hand. I regret the need to incorporate nuclear bombs into our EIR 3.0s but acknowledge the necessity."
Endoria Main Communications Hub, 12.6.2384:
"Reports are coming in of a Probe 3.0's encounter with the Guardian, but we've got bigger news coming in."
"It looks like Crystous is non-compliant with galactic environmental law, as expected; it even went so far as to try to bribe us off, imagining mere money would convince us to forego an accurate environmental impact report. It also has a Polaris dreadnought in orbit over Neptunus, reinforcing hints of its willingness to combine pollution and war."
Interstellar Space, 19.6.2384:
"That is correct. I transmitted a friendly message, and the Guardian proceeded to fire on me with plasma torpedoes and a cloud of missiles. Not wishing to cause more offense than I already had, I immediately set my warp engines to depart the system, and the Guardian respected this act, moving away from my ship rather than closing and firing."
"The supposition that it did so only because my ship was armed - with a single laser surely incapable of harming the behemoth - and because it had a payload of missiles and torpedoes on the way, is surely indefensible. I survived not because of my ship's warlike design but by my own peaceful actions, surely!"
Whynil Transmission Relay, 2.6.2387:
(Candy Celebrate spreads all four hands before the holocom console in a warm greeting) "It's a pleasure to see your face again so soon, Krungo! Was there something we forgot to cover in our conversation with the whole Bulrathi cabinet? Perhaps you would like to offer further advice on our environmental..."
(Krungo's image appears to yawn slightly) "Pardon us, we forgot to mention that we have decided to destroy the Psilon empire now." (Image disappears)
(Candy opens and closes her mouth, staring at the now-empty holodisplay, the translation script still scrolling) "You ... our ... the..." (sigh) "You know, that comma really ought to be a semicolon..."
Endoria Main Communications Hub, 14.6.2387:
"Ah, our good old Klackon friends! What can I do for you?"
"The conjunction of the planets? Really? In which star system? Or is ... wait, you want to eradicate the Psilons from the galaxy? But ... but aren't we..."
Mentar Peaceful Diplomacy Center, 2.10.2387:
"While it's perhaps understandable in light of what my predecessor did at Whynil - and the fact that the bugs are frankly bonkers - the Bulrathi and insect declarations of war cannot simply be ignored; nor can the Mrrshans go unrewarded for surprising the doubters by continuing along the path of peace. Our one true friend in the galaxy, allied to nobody, Jasana has agreed to join our peace-keeping coalition in exchange for Duralloy Armor, which will help ensure her people's ability to resist Bulrathi assault as we stand together against Ursine incursion. Her resulting declaration of war on the bears is in truth a declaration of solidarity with our people; surely, once Krungo sees reason, Jasana will be as eager as I for peace. In the meantime, we must hold off warlike attacks, like the Darlok fleet at Endoria earlier this year and the Bulrathi one expected to strike at Whynil next year as well. We fortunately have sufficient forces present to persuade them - I hope not by force, though I fear it may be needed - to retreat. More PT-DEF 3.0s are in production even now to make our deterrent force more effective and avoid the need for battle entirely."
Bio Lab Imra, 28.4.2389:
"Reports that Mentar's electrical engineers have made a quantum leap in scanning technology may be encouraging for those who fear our warlike neighbors, but they are nothing to the latest work of Stem Cereus: We have found the means of rendering all our habitable planets fertile, and while the computer engineers at Mentar can devise no better way to move forward than the usual combat-related technologies - taking Battle Computer Mark V as the most advanced and therefore interesting technology - Stem has drawn up tentative plans for cloning our people, or better yet, rendering even the most hostile planets susceptible to soil enrichment! In anticipation of doing so, we are all hard at work now on Controlled Radiated Envionment technology, to open up more fertile-worlds-to-be!"
Morrig Electronics Lab, 10.3.2392:
"I think I'm onto something here. Attempting burst-transmission..."
"I made it down here while the Klackons were concentrating on their assault at Incedius - something like 500 ships, as I understand it, but lacking the weapons needed to penetrate our missile base's shield. All the Klackon plans for ECM Jammer Mark I are included in my transmission, so I hope it's coming through! I'll report again when I have an opportunity!"
Whynil Communications Relay, 8.11.2392:
"Peace negotiations with the Darloks remain stalled, in spite of their surprising call to thank us earlier this year for the good work of our IERs at Neptunus. I had thought that an industrialist would be the less appreciative of our efforts there than its ecologist neighbors, but Narzina has demonstrated that the ecology is everyone's concern; in fact, some years ago, perhaps for this very reason, she went so far as to declare war on the Silicoid polluters. Sadly, our offer to return Whynil and pay reparations in exchange for peace has made no headway. Narzina insists that it will not accept as a gift the planet that it lost in war; it demands the right to kill at least a million of our people in some crude rite of vengeance before it will accept the world! Obviously, this suggestion is preposterous, and their alternative demand is sickening - they asked for our best terraforming technology in exchange for peace, as if to say that they don't care about the people who died at Whynil or about the planet itself - only about the potential space to grow voting population. A better Psilon would have gladly given knowledge in exchange for peace, but the horrible calculation of the thing was so disgusting to me that I had to refuse; I doubt the offer will be renewed."
Mentar Peaceful Diplomacy Center, 22.10.2393:
"I have no doubt that you all are aware of the defensive situation, with another Darlok fleet repelled at Endoria last year, and a Klackon fighter force destroyed at Neptunus when they attacked our fleet there this year - another chapter in the sad tale of that world."
"The Silicoids' refusal to clean up or in any way reduce their pollution in that star system became a matter of urgency, as you know, when we discovered the total ecological collapse of its large Terran world. It will take years to clean up the mess that they left and restore the planet to its pristine beauty, and our new colony has been created on that world expressly do so. The EIRs for our labs-to-be there are already on file with the galactic councl and approved by the ecological committee. The worst news of the year however is the virulent plague that struck Jasana's homeworld. Even as we began mobilizing to help her find a cure, our efforts led by Stem Cereus herself, Jasana called and appeared to wish to take out her frustrations on us. Her complaint about fleets amassing on her border is particularly revealing, as virtually all our ships are gathered or gathering as far from her as possible, to inspect Silicoid worlds for noncompliance with enviornmental law and to deter warlike threats in the north.
"Nevertheless, it is my pleasure to report that we need not fear attack from anyone much longer. Safe behind our new planetary shields, with plans for a Repulsor Beam on the way, it won't be long before we can settle down to truly live in peace."
_______________
Next: The Great Divide
