Ignore all the stupid lies about planets and population and total power. Who made these charts, anyway? Never mind! Anyway, they apparently did some technology trading before the election that I didn't pay any attention to - Prrsha traded them a Neutron Pellet Gun design for Sublight Drives, and Smurch traded Dotomite Crystals for Inertial Stabilizer. Of course now that the conspiracy has taken its true form, they'll just be sharing all their technology, so I suppose that's not so important. But the point is, this war is completely winnable! If you don't count their nonexistent worse-than-barren colonies, the bugs only have ten stars to their name! And look! They don't even have any factories!
Well, except the 30 ancient ones at Kholdan and the 79 they captured from us at Beta Ceti. Plus, they barely have any missile bases! Don't try to tell me we couldn't get through even two of them even with a dreadnought, and practically every planet that's anywhere near us has a(nother) partial missile base almost ready to deploy already! Those sound like Klackon lies to me! Anyway, look at their pitiful fleet!
Never mind that they've been enough to take apart every ship we've sent at them lately. Never mind that they're about to start producing fighters with stabilizers and NPGs. That's not important! And remember, they don't have two rich worlds from which to produce them, one of which has been working on prebuilds for years in anticipation of new technology! Those are lies! Both of those worlds are at planets that no one can actually live on! It's proven fact! Besides, look at that stupid "Queen B 2.0" they built. All it had to do was go to that barren world in their back lines, but then they accidentally sent it to the wrong world, and then they forgot about it for a while, and only now is it crawling through the nebula toward the planet it was supposed to take years ago! What a bunch of losers!
As you can see from the map, we can win easily! I didn't include our Human and Sakkra enemies, but that's because they don't count anyway. We'll wipe out all the Klackons! And everyone else! Permanently! We won't have to lose more than a few billion soldiers in the process, and we can't lose because all the indications that RBO-15 is going to roll right over us from here on are just Klackon lies, and ... what? My new command center? Hey, this is great! A giant holodisplay in the middle of the room and everything! And hey, you already loaded the holoprojector with all my favorite DVDs! Wow, you guys really thought of everything! Yeah, okay, I'll wait in here while you go tell the galaxy we're accepting ... no! We won't accept! Defying the new Imperium! Yes, yes, it must have been a slip of the digital vocalization apparatus! Of course we'll be defying!
24...something: Gosh, I wonder when I'll hear anything about the war. I wonder how the Klackons reacted when we defied them. The food in my cool new command center is great though! I'm sure someday I'll also get to command something! And the walls are all so nice and soft! I should probably get back to running our glorious empire and defeating the insects and everything ... or at least see if I can get a news station to come on for once ... but it can wait. I want to watch Robotron Bugslayer XVII again!
Haha! Go get 'em Robotron! Those insects will never learn!
I could watch these DVDs forever!
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Next: Post-Game Notes
