The Grinch grabbed some bags and some empty old sacks
And hitched an old sleigh to his faithful dog, Max.
"Giddyap!" said the Grinch, and they hurried away
To steal some tech plans on their ramshackle sleigh.
He stole a cheap jammer from Omicron's Rocks
Even as rich new Tauri was claimed for his 'Loks,
Close enough to the Sakkra that contact was made
With their "empire" - one planet in all, I'm afraid.
After three years at Omicron - just time to snag
Some class 2 deflectors for his goody bag -
The Grinch went to Sssla in fine time to pack
The plans for hand lasers into an old sack.
(His scientists turned to a new scatter pack
And personal shields, just in case of attack.)
He sped down to Kulthos to pick up Range Four
(The Sili techs neglected to lock their door)
While 'Lok scanner scientists pushed on ahead
(Like old IIT and later Controlled Dead)
And finished their project, which saddened the Grinch.
"Oh, curses," he said each time. "Less tech to pinch!"
Yet still they continued: First, more IIT;
Later, Enhanced Eco; between, BC3.
Then Tyranid called up, a mere thirteen years
After meeting the Darloks, fulfilling their fears.
He just didn't like diplo games any more;
The 'zard crackpot only liked WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR!
The next year, the Silis had spread to six stars -
And who should appear the year after but b'ars?
Erratic Ecologist lunatic b'ars!
Like three-year-old-Crockett's kill: Bullux-led b'ars!
There was nothing to do (at least with a straight face)
But continue the sleigh-ridin', tech-stealin' race,
While Tauri's defense (now a Hyper-V burst
Since 'Lok ships had somehow reached Herculis first -
So the Grinch couldn't steal that tech; oh, how he cursed!)
Destroyed an attack ship - Sakkra at their worst.
The Grinch went to Simius, lifted some Gats
From the Silicoid lab there; then, stealthy as cats,
Old Max and the Grinch slunk through an asteroid field
To Kulthos and stole a 'coid Personal Shield!
(The scientists switched to Class V Planetary
In case war with one of the crazies got hairy.)
Three fourths of a century into his plan,
The Grinch came across something wretched: Johann!
The third of his name who had ruled from old Sol,
He sent a vast starfleet just to take control
Of little Iranha, an Artifacts star,
Whose single 'Lok scout-sentry turned and fled far...
Yet the very next year - yes, the very next year!
The Grinch had reached Human space - or so I hear -
He meant what he said, and he said what he meant:
He pilfered their Reduced Waste 80%!
And the Grinch wasn't done - he was not done at all!
Oh, what tech was to be the next one to fall?
And hitched an old sleigh to his faithful dog, Max.
"Giddyap!" said the Grinch, and they hurried away
To steal some tech plans on their ramshackle sleigh.
He stole a cheap jammer from Omicron's Rocks
Even as rich new Tauri was claimed for his 'Loks,
Close enough to the Sakkra that contact was made
With their "empire" - one planet in all, I'm afraid.
After three years at Omicron - just time to snag
Some class 2 deflectors for his goody bag -
The Grinch went to Sssla in fine time to pack
The plans for hand lasers into an old sack.
(His scientists turned to a new scatter pack
And personal shields, just in case of attack.)
He sped down to Kulthos to pick up Range Four
(The Sili techs neglected to lock their door)
While 'Lok scanner scientists pushed on ahead
(Like old IIT and later Controlled Dead)
And finished their project, which saddened the Grinch.
"Oh, curses," he said each time. "Less tech to pinch!"
Yet still they continued: First, more IIT;
Later, Enhanced Eco; between, BC3.
Then Tyranid called up, a mere thirteen years
After meeting the Darloks, fulfilling their fears.
He just didn't like diplo games any more;
The 'zard crackpot only liked WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR!
The next year, the Silis had spread to six stars -
And who should appear the year after but b'ars?
Erratic Ecologist lunatic b'ars!
Like three-year-old-Crockett's kill: Bullux-led b'ars!
There was nothing to do (at least with a straight face)
But continue the sleigh-ridin', tech-stealin' race,
While Tauri's defense (now a Hyper-V burst
Since 'Lok ships had somehow reached Herculis first -
So the Grinch couldn't steal that tech; oh, how he cursed!)
Destroyed an attack ship - Sakkra at their worst.
The Grinch went to Simius, lifted some Gats
From the Silicoid lab there; then, stealthy as cats,
Old Max and the Grinch slunk through an asteroid field
To Kulthos and stole a 'coid Personal Shield!
(The scientists switched to Class V Planetary
In case war with one of the crazies got hairy.)
Three fourths of a century into his plan,
The Grinch came across something wretched: Johann!
The third of his name who had ruled from old Sol,
He sent a vast starfleet just to take control
Of little Iranha, an Artifacts star,
Whose single 'Lok scout-sentry turned and fled far...
Yet the very next year - yes, the very next year!
The Grinch had reached Human space - or so I hear -
He meant what he said, and he said what he meant:
He pilfered their Reduced Waste 80%!
And the Grinch wasn't done - he was not done at all!
Oh, what tech was to be the next one to fall?
