The Grinch was careening all through Human space
At a terrible, frightening tech-stealing pace!
He stole some Nuke Engines the very same year
That his scientists made Enhanced Eco appear
("Yet another I can't steal," he said with a sneer)
And started to try to make Toxic tech clear.
The Grinch, on the prowl, was not to be outdone!
He said, "Actually teching techs isn't this fun!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
The galaxy 'round, stealing every tech present!
Terra plus twenty, declining to frame!
Rockets that kill missiles, at least in name!
Irridium Fuel Cells, allowing range six!
(Tech teams turned to sublights, the simplest of picks.)
Along the line somewhere, the Sakkra made peace;
The Grinch barely noticed, proceeding to fleece
The AIs completely, regardless of race,
With a gleam in his eye and a sneer on his face.
A Mark 2 Computer was next on his list,
Declining to frame so it wouldn't be missed,
With four brand-new planets, including one Dead,
And "Sneak" gunscouts (one saw the Guardian and fled).
Then a scientist learned how to build Toxic bases
And seeing the looks on his peers' learned faces,
Declared he would look for a Tox Antidote
Lest when death spores should fall, the Darloks might be smote.
But the Grinch still said, "That's all I wanted to see!
That's the last tech we'll tech in planetology!
From now on, Computers alone get my backing -
And only because they help me with my hacking!"
And the very next year, how the Sakkra would moan:
The old Grinch had lifted some Spores of his own!
And still more important, he shouted with glee,
"Happy holidays, Darloks! Here's IRC 3!"
The bears were his victims, for moments before
He'd grabbed those controls from an Ursa-based store.
So pleased was the Grinch that when a virus struck
His most advanced tech field (Computers - bad luck)
He carried it off with a glint and a grin:
"We'll just steal from others when their techs come in!"
And you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up some lies, and he thought 'em up quick!
"We would like to be friends," the old faker plain lied.
And he caught Johann NAPping, with a deal on the side
For trade with the Sakkra in spite of their madness
To keep them from guessing his theft-happy badness.
And what did the Grinch do the very next year?
Why he built Proxima - a UR world, I fear -
And so met the Psilons, the very last race
To hurl noisy greetings in the Grinch's face.
If anyone doubts the AIs were insane,
They ought to examine Meson's giant brain!
There's plenty of room there for knowledge and such
But as for stability? Well, there's not much!
The Sakkra had shown just what colors they wore
Some four decades back when they first declared war,
And as for old Bullux, the Ursine mouth-breather,
He wasn't exactly reliable either!
With a chain of alliance cheese spread like a paste,
The Grinch feared his fibbing would all go to waste;
The Silicoid xenophobes wouldn't agree
To break with the Bears, for love, money, or free
So the Grinch tugged his hat on and went off to Earth,
Where Johann agreed (causing much Darlok mirth)
To break with the Silis - he said that it pained him,
But Darlok trade goods and their new NAP sustained him.
Meanwhile, Grinchy Sneak scouts could finally see
The whole (just about) of the wide galaxy!
The Grinch chortled, "My maps are clearly the best!
Now, it's time to send Sneaks out to chart all the rest!"
But what of old Bullux, the mighty and proud
(And slightly insane) leader of the Bear crowd?
His empire, the largest in all of known space,
Had set out for war against the Darlok race!
And right at the start of the Bulrathi war,
Came something the Grinch had never seen before!
At a terrible, frightening tech-stealing pace!
He stole some Nuke Engines the very same year
That his scientists made Enhanced Eco appear
("Yet another I can't steal," he said with a sneer)
And started to try to make Toxic tech clear.
The Grinch, on the prowl, was not to be outdone!
He said, "Actually teching techs isn't this fun!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
The galaxy 'round, stealing every tech present!
Terra plus twenty, declining to frame!
Rockets that kill missiles, at least in name!
Irridium Fuel Cells, allowing range six!
(Tech teams turned to sublights, the simplest of picks.)
Along the line somewhere, the Sakkra made peace;
The Grinch barely noticed, proceeding to fleece
The AIs completely, regardless of race,
With a gleam in his eye and a sneer on his face.
A Mark 2 Computer was next on his list,
Declining to frame so it wouldn't be missed,
With four brand-new planets, including one Dead,
And "Sneak" gunscouts (one saw the Guardian and fled).
Then a scientist learned how to build Toxic bases
And seeing the looks on his peers' learned faces,
Declared he would look for a Tox Antidote
Lest when death spores should fall, the Darloks might be smote.
But the Grinch still said, "That's all I wanted to see!
That's the last tech we'll tech in planetology!
From now on, Computers alone get my backing -
And only because they help me with my hacking!"
And the very next year, how the Sakkra would moan:
The old Grinch had lifted some Spores of his own!
And still more important, he shouted with glee,
"Happy holidays, Darloks! Here's IRC 3!"
The bears were his victims, for moments before
He'd grabbed those controls from an Ursa-based store.
So pleased was the Grinch that when a virus struck
His most advanced tech field (Computers - bad luck)
He carried it off with a glint and a grin:
"We'll just steal from others when their techs come in!"
And you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up some lies, and he thought 'em up quick!
"We would like to be friends," the old faker plain lied.
And he caught Johann NAPping, with a deal on the side
For trade with the Sakkra in spite of their madness
To keep them from guessing his theft-happy badness.
And what did the Grinch do the very next year?
Why he built Proxima - a UR world, I fear -
And so met the Psilons, the very last race
To hurl noisy greetings in the Grinch's face.
If anyone doubts the AIs were insane,
They ought to examine Meson's giant brain!
There's plenty of room there for knowledge and such
But as for stability? Well, there's not much!
The Sakkra had shown just what colors they wore
Some four decades back when they first declared war,
And as for old Bullux, the Ursine mouth-breather,
He wasn't exactly reliable either!
With a chain of alliance cheese spread like a paste,
The Grinch feared his fibbing would all go to waste;
The Silicoid xenophobes wouldn't agree
To break with the Bears, for love, money, or free
So the Grinch tugged his hat on and went off to Earth,
Where Johann agreed (causing much Darlok mirth)
To break with the Silis - he said that it pained him,
But Darlok trade goods and their new NAP sustained him.
Meanwhile, Grinchy Sneak scouts could finally see
The whole (just about) of the wide galaxy!
The Grinch chortled, "My maps are clearly the best!
Now, it's time to send Sneaks out to chart all the rest!"
But what of old Bullux, the mighty and proud
(And slightly insane) leader of the Bear crowd?
His empire, the largest in all of known space,
Had set out for war against the Darlok race!
And right at the start of the Bulrathi war,
Came something the Grinch had never seen before!
