SGotUN: More than a sixth of the way to the jubilee, and we've only even met one race, we only even have one colony outside the North Pole, and we've only given a couple of gifts. It made sense at the time to hand you the reins of power - after all, you have a reputation - but...
Cap: It sounds like someone needs a good, healthy dose of holiday spirit!
Ref: And a better sense of timing for his complaints.
SGotUN: Wait, no one else even has three worlds yet?! Not even the Silicoids?
Ref: And your third world is Endoria, full of Artifacty goodness!
Cap: That place is going to make us some amazing gifts!
SGotUN: I have learned my lesson! No more will I question the Spirit of Giving and her faithful captain and copilot!
Ref: Good, because we've imposed some nutty variant rules here, and we don't want you questioning them too closely.
Cap: He means, "And a wisely learned lesson it was!"
2339
FA: And Moro makes four! This is great!
SGotUN: Just one question, oh wise teachers who I'm trying not to complain about anymore. Why did you just settle straight toward the heart of Silicoid space instead of trying to make contact with other races?
Ref: I wanted to make sure the place didn't get poached, and forgot that Silicoids on Average don't show up with armed starships pretty much until the game ends.
Cap: By which of course he means, it's a hotly contested planet and we didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands.
Ref: Nope. Other planets were way more contested - by races that put guns on their spaceships. My bad. Sorry.
Cap: Will you please let me handle the spin here? Please?
2341
FA: Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Ref: ... Is there a reason you're dressed as a vampire, Captain Giving?
Cap: (Splutter) Vampire?! I'm a jolly old elf! In a red suit!
FA: Jolly old elf with talons and a huge, sharp beak!
Ref: And what appear to be bat-wing rib lines on your ... uh ... robe.
Cap: But look at my beard!
SGotUN: Oh, so that's what it's supposed to be!
Cap: Look, we've just developed Dead colony bases, we're starting on Enhanced Eco Restoration because it's the first cleanup tech we've even seen, and it's time to give tech to the Silicoids again, so....
Ref: Silicoids can't use Controlled Dead, Captain.
Cap: ...
Ref: They can live everywhere already.
Cap: ...
2345-6
Cap: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Ajax! We're out to five worlds, and starting on computer research! ECM Jammer Mark I is up first - just because it's nice and cheap! We won't need intel or targeting, I believe! Ho, ho, ho!
FA: Is he ever going to take that suit off?
Ref: Just give him a few more years.
2347
FA: Breaking news! The Klackon ant people have just developed Range 6 or something!
Ref: Believe it or not, you can see all of the Human, Silicoid, and Klackon empires on this screen - although our Artifacts world of Endoria appears only by proxy (my cursor is also pointing in its general direction).
Cap: Ho, ho ... huh. But why doesn't it say "No Events" in the upper left-hand corner of the screen?
Ref: Because I forgot to turn events off until a GNN report came along in 2352. Fortunately, it was just one of those demographics things, and it reminded me to turn events off before any of them actually happened.
FA: But ... but it's only 2347! What do you mean, "came along in 2352"?!
Ref: Shhhhhh! This is OOC stuff! You're not supposed to be listening!
Cap: Anyway, I'm off to wish the ants a Merry Christmas!
Ref: ... You think the bugs are Christian? Seriously?
Cap: Sure! Why not? There's room for everybody of all faith-and-species combinations in our holiday season!
Ref: Can you imagine an insectoid immaculate conception? Wouldn't that mean about nine hundred million fatherless eggs?
Cap: Will you please stop raining on my Thanksgiving Day parade? Ahem! Ho, ho, ho! Meeeerrrrrrrrrrrrry Christmas, Kaxal! How about some Duralloy in your stocking? And some Terra +10! And some Controlled Dead Environment! Ho, ho, ho! Now, would you be willing to trade 75 BC per year?
Cap: I knew it! Merrrrrrrrrrry...
Ref: Uh, that's enough ho-ing and stuff, okay?
Cap: Awwww ... but I was just starting to hit my stride!
2350-51
Cap: Do we have to open the other tech fields?
Ref: I explained about propulsion already, the humans are excellent at force fields, we'll need some defense against enemy attacks, and we're all out of gifts in the other fields.
Cap: Sigh ... I guess you're right. What have we got to research?
Ref: Class II Deflector Shields, obviously, plus Deuterium Fuel Cells instead of nothing, and Hand Lasers instead of actual options, just to advance the tree quickly. If the aliens get spores, I'd rather have real missiles sooner rather than Hyper-Vaporware soonest anyway.
Cap: You're making the very uncharitable assumption that they're going to attack in the first place! Come on! Let's spread some more holiday cheer!
2354
SGotUN: Haaaaaaaaaaallelujah!
Cap: That's the spirit!
SGotUN: Hurray! We have like three times as many planets as anybody else!
Cap: ... Errrrr ... well, that's sort of the spirit....
FA: At least he's not complaining any more.
Cap: Good point. Close enough!
Ref: I'm feeling pretty charitable myself! Which religious or cultural group is it that says, "A rising tide lifts all boats"?
Cap: Dunno. Some group that's never seen a boat with a hole in it, I guess.
_______________
Next: Caught Napping!
