Cap: What? He's back?!
FA: Sure. He just showed up now. Came in on the same spaceship that Sedimin's guy - well, Sedimin's rock formation or whatever - took off on.
Cap: That's terrific news! Ask him to get me an appointment with Arial immediately!
FA: No sooner said then done!
Arial: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want now?
Cap: Nothing much. Just to give you a Mark V Battle Computer, Repulsor Beam, Fusion Drives, and Advanced Eco.
Arial: Oh. Is ... uh, is that all?
Cap: For this year, it is.
2417
Ref: Class 6s are in, but a nuclear bomb might still do a whole point of damage to our bases occasionally, so we're going to correct the oversight by working on Class VII Deflector Shields while we give the fruits of our labors to the Psilons and Alkari. Oh, and a Klackon fleet is due to hit Tau Cygni next year. It's a popular vacation spot for alien admirals for some reason.
2418
Cap: The bugs have Fusion Bombs! This is horrible news!
FA: (Wringing his hands) You mean they might kill our people and penetrate our bases?
Ref: Well ... they might have, had we not anticipated the possibility of something like this, and built two stacks of 20+ Warp 4 Safety fighters to go with our 5 Merc bases.
FA: So ... um ... why does the Captain look so concerned?
Ref: (As sadly as Captain Giving himself) It means we'll be forced to actually blow up some of their starships. (Sniffs. Sheds a tear.) And I was so hoping we wouldn't have to kill anybody.
FA: Hey, cheer up! They're only ants!
Cap: Argh! Our people still don't understand the idea of love and peace and tolerance and tranquility!
Ref: That's four ideas. Anyway, cheer up! What difference does it make what they think? They're only Humans!
2419-23
SGotUN: Alien ships keep coming to our worlds and retreating without firing a shot. Well ... I guess the Klackons fired a few, and killed one or two more of our brave Safety pilots ... but then we blew up all their bombers, and they flew away too. Jinga actually assembled 11 bases in case the Alkari were packing spores or something, only to scan the ships as they arrived and find they had nothing but lasers and nuclear missiles. It was the most mismatched battle in the history of the galaxy ... if you could call it a battle. No shot was fired on either side before the birds' retreat. The aliens are learning an important lesson - or at least they're teaching one to my people, and to me: You can't accomplish anything by war except the pointless destruction of a few soldiers' lives ... at least when your opponents have eleven layers of deflector shields at their bases and outproduce you overwhelmingly.
2424
Cap: Hurray! Everybody's willing to talk to us again! For the first time in decades!
Ref: Well, a decade and a half, anyway....
Cap: This calls for a major, non-denominational celebration! Happy Winter Solstice, everybody!!! Or Summer Solstice if you forgot to move to the northern hemisphere when they changed the planet's name to North Pole!
Meson of the Psilons: (Grumpily) Does this mean you're a pagan?
Cap: It means I'm perfectly willing to help pagans celebrate their own Very Special Holidays, just like everybody else, as long as they're not into Human (or Alkari or Klackon or Psilon or Silicoid) sacrifice or anything. But also it means you can be happy about the days getting longer and warmer again (if you happen to be in the northern hemisphere) no matter what your religious denomination or lack thereof or opposition thereunto! Or, if you're in the southern hemisphere, you can be happy about the beautiful, warm summer days you're no doubt experiencing, regardless of same! Or, if you happen to live in the tropics, you can be happy about never really even having to worry about winter in the first place!
Meson: Um. Mentar's rotational axis is exactly perpendicular to its orbital plane. What if you don't happen to live on the Human homeworld?
Cap: That's easy! You can be happy about Earth's freakish axial tilt giving your friends an excuse to give you and your Alkari allies our newly-developed techs, like IIT5 and Stingers, while researching Andrium Armor and a Neutron Blaster to also give away someday! If you're a Silicoid, you can celebrate receiving the same gifts, as well as our Class 6 Deflectors! And as a Klackon, you could celebrate getting all those goodies too, plus AER and BC5! Look at it this way: We're all here, and we're doing all right for ourselves - we even have interstellar empires! We don't need to share a common religio-cultural whachamagiggy to be nice to each other, to look out for each other, to celebrate, to be happy! That's what the Spirit of Giving is all about! (Cool spaceship isn't she?)
Meson: I must be going crazy or something. You're actually starting to make sense to me!
Cap: Let's do this then! Let's form an alliance, dedicated to peace, love, and family! Or, failing that, an alliance dedicated to giving each other really cool gadgets and things!
Meson: Against what I would formerly have called my better judgment ... I agree!
Cap: How about your friends the Alkari, can we count on them as allies too?
Arial: You bet you can! We've had enough petty bickering! Especially since we're really, really weak!
Cap: I guess that's it - the others brought their ambassadors back too recently to think about signing on - but that's good enough for me! If this goes on much longer, the Humans will have more than half the galactic population by themselves, and these "votes" will become a joke. Let's finish this while the Council can still offer some legitimacy!
Ref: Besides, I'm running out of time to play the game.
2425
Cap: The High Council convenes once more! Go, Secretary General! It is your hour!
SGotUN: It is my honor to lead the galaxy into a time of lasting peace! Though I hoped for unanimous support, the will of the galaxy is now clear, with only my election opponent voting against me, and only Sedimin abstaining. Achieving a unanimous election at this point would only be a matter of time, and there is no point in wasting it.
Ref: Specifically, a matter of waiting for a quarter-century when the NAP-breach time-outs happened to line up properly.
Arial, Kaxal, Meson, and Sedimin in unison: Get on with it, already!
HMotNR: Errrrr... Okay, then. Time to wrap up the speech.
FA: Pretty inspiring, if you ask me. There's just one thing: You guys said all would be made clear in time, and that never really happened. How come RefSteel seemed to know what was going to happen before it did?
Cap: Oh, that's easy. He's the one actually writing this report, and he wrote it after playing the game! So by the time he wrote his lines, he already knew the outcome of everything!
FA: And he was still snarking at everyone, in spite of knowing the whole galaxy would live happily ever after?!
Cap: I think he figured it would be more amusing that way.
FA: Well, all right. But if he knows everything I'm going to in advance, doesn't that mean I don't really have free will?
Cap: Of course it doesn't mean that! He's like anyone else in the future: He knows what happened in our present and future - his past - but can't go back and change it. All the Human empire's decisions were set in stone by the time he wrote this report: He knew them, but couldn't change them.
FA: I'm still not sure I understand.
Cap: Relax. You've got every bit as much free will as I have! (wink)
FA: What a relief!
Cap: Actually, I have a question though. How come everyone calls the new High Master "RBO-16"?
FA: Didn't you know? He's the sixteenth ruler of Earth to be named Rashid Bobby Osaka; the history books are full of the first one, of course, and millions of people are named after him.
Cap: What'd he do?
FA: Something really important and cool that saved the world back in 2043! In fact, the whole reason the world is...
RefSteel: Oops! Out of time! We've got to be moving on! More holiday cheer to spread and everything!
FA: Oh, yeah! That reminds me! Old RBO-16 wanted to thank you for all the hard work you did, teaching him and all the aliens about the Spirit of Giving and everything! He wanted to show he's learned, and that the New Republic will feature gifts given thoughtfully and attentively!
HMotNR: That's right! I have gifts for both of you!
Cap: What could you possibly have gotten us? We're the ones who usually do all the giving!
Ref: Whoah! Sticks of stalish bubblegum in packs of Intergalactic Frungy League cards! I got a Fwiffo rookie card! (not pictured) The first Spathi ever to play at the big-league level!
Cap: This ... this is the most beautiful day of my life!
Ref: He gets to retire, y'see....
Final Score
In 2325: (2500 - 2325 = 175) x (Terra10 [2] + Duralloy [10] = 12) to rocks= 2,100
In 2347: (2500 - 2347 = 153) x (Terra10 [2] + Dead [9] + Duralloy [10] to bugs = 21) = 3,213
In 2364: (2500 - 2364 = 136) x (ECM1 [2]) x 2 recipients (rocks & bugs) = 744
In 2366: (2500 - 2366 = 134) x (Hand Lasers [2]) x 2 recipients (rocks & bugs) = 736
In 2367: (2500 - 2367 = 133) x (EER [13]) to bugs = 1,729
In 2369: (2500 - 2369 = 131) x (ECM1 [2] + Dead [9] + Duralloy [10] + EER [13] = 34) to birds = 4,454
In 2370: (2500 - 2370 = 130) x (Shield2 [4]) x 2 recipients (rocks & birds) = 1040
In 2373: (2500 - 2373 = 127) x (Deuterium [5]) to bugs = 635
In 2377: (2500 - 2377 = 123) x ((RC3 [8] x 2 recipients [bugs & birds] = 16) + (IIT7 [13] x 3 recipients [birds, rocks, & bugs] = 39) = 52) = 6,396
In 2382: (2500 - 2382 = 118) x ((Hand Lasers [2] + Deuterium [5] + RC3 [8] + Dead [9] + Irridium [9] + Duralloy [10] + IIT7 [13] + EER [13]) to Psilons + Irridium [9] to rocks = 78) = 9,194
In 2384: (2500 - 2384 = 116) x (AMR [6] x 4 recipients + Rad [18] x 3 recipients [birds, brains, bugs] = 78) = 9,048
In 2385: (2500 - 2385 = 115) x Warp2 (6) x 3 recipients (rocks, bugs, birds) = 2,070
In 2391: (2500 - 2391 = 109) x ISS (13) x 4 recipients = 5,668
In 2394: (2500 - 2394 = 106) x Shield3 (10) x 2 recipients (birds & brains) = 2,120
In 2395: (2500 - 2395 = 105) x Terra40 (20) to birds = 2,100
In 2399: (2500 - 2399 = 101) x (Zortium [17] x 3 recipients [birds, brains, bugs] + Dotomite [14] x 2 recipients [birds, brains]) = 7,979
In 2400: (2500 - 2400 = 100) x PlanShield5 (12) x 2 recipients (birds & brains) = 2,400
In 2403: (2500-2403 = 97) x (Shield3 [10] + PlanShield5 [12] + Dotomite [14] + Zortium [17] + Terra40 [20] = 73) to rocks = 7,081
In 2404: (2500 - 2404 = 96) x Mercs (14) x 3 recipients (birds, brains, rocks) = 4,032
In 2411: (2500 - 2411 = 89) x Warp4 (18) x 3 recipients (brains, bugs, rocks) = 4,806
In 2412: (2500 - 2412 = 88) x Repulsor (16) x 3 recipients (brains, bugs, rocks) = 4,224
In 2415: (2500 - 2415 = 85) x (BC5 [20] x 2 recipients (brains, rocks) + AER [24] to brains = 64) = 5,440
In 2416: (2500 - 2416 = 84) x (BC5 [20] + Repulsor [16] + Warp4 [18] + AER [24] to birds = 78) = 6,552
In 2417: (2500 - 2417 = 83) x Shield6 [24] x 2 recipients (brains, birds) = 3,984
In 2424: (2500 - 2424 = 76) x ((IIT5 [23] + Stingers [18]) x 4 recipients = 164 + Shield6 [24] x 2 recipients [rocks & bugs] + (AER [24] + BC5 [20] = 44) to bugs = 256) = 19,456
Grand Total = 117,201 x 2 for diplo victory with all races surviving = 234,402
...
If that's the highest score for this game, it will be because virtually everyone else gave up on adding up their scores. On Average difficulty, with 200 years to develop tech before the scoring gives out, this scoring system lends itself to ridiculously high numbers; I'm glad I didn't try to milk the score, as I'd still be calculating it next week! Still, a fun game to play, and a nice, quick one at a time of year when I (for one) didn't have time for a full-scale Imperium!
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