Imperium 21 - Uniting the Galaxy

2419: Mirana's gone too far now; according to my advisors, she ordered bombardment of her own homeworld - it must have been just before our fleet got there and destroyed the last of her military forces at the planet - just like she did to Draconis last year! Even INT-986 called to compliment me for recognizing "the incredible threat the Mrrshan empire poses to both our worlds." I keep telling my advisors we need to send sub-space transmissions to the Mrrshans to offer them the chance to join my empire in place of Mirana's, but it's no good; apparently, the quantum jammers on the planet's surface create quasi-quinary quark interference that adversely affects the quiddity of subspacial ... um ... something. Anyway, the upshot is, we can't do it, and we have to wait for more campaign guys to arrive.

2421: Finally!

Draconis and Fierias finally overthrew their merciless overlady, and even told my scientists how to make a Battle Computer Mark III! So now that my subjects control nearly every planet in the galaxy, we can just sit back and wait for the next election, and I can officially unite the whole galaxy!

2427: Uh ... what's going on here? Wasn't there supposed to be an election a couple years ago or something? Not that the outcome would have been in doubt or anything....

So now my Secretary of Defense is telling me INT-986 boycotted the election because it was the only emperor in the galaxy left other than me, and it couldn't be held with just one of me! But that means we'll never be able to unite the galaxy! Luckily, the SoD has an answer ready. I didn't realize it, but apparently we've been gathering our entire starfleet out near Meklar space since Mirana was ... er, exiled or whatever ... in case of just this eventuality! Now that I look, I can even see the two wings of our starfleet, plus a bunch of campaign transports, with arrows showing their destination on the map my advisors prepared for me! I guess I should have been paying more attention to what my ships and things have been doing.

2428: Well, here goes nothing! Rock the vote, you beautiful cybernetic people, you! Wear those green cloaks with pride to show your support for the Darloks! Here's to solidarity!

Yyyyyesssss! Victory!

Hurray for the New Imperium! Yay!

Yup, yup, yup! That's me!

Scoring:

The scoring for this event (see the official Imperium 21 page at Realms Beyond) depends on the results of all the participants' reports - which are now complete, and the final scores tallied! So...

First Techs Researched:
Computers: 2341 - Third: +2
Construction: 2337 - Third: +2
Force Fields: 2349 - Tied for Third/Fourth: +1
Planetology: 2323 - First!: +6
Propulsion: 2329 - Third: +2
Weapons: 2350 - Third: +2

I did pretty well here - though not as well as Sargon or KnTenshi! - as the only player to score at least one point in every field.

Additional Techs Researched in Each Field:
None: -0

Victory: Extermination ... errrr, I mean, Unification, 2428: +100

Total Score: 115! - good for second place overall!

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Notes from the Sponsor (i.e. me) at Realms Beyond
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Back to the Front Page

Imperium 21 - The Ultimate Betrayal

2408: My black-cloakers are doing great! We just got our first collaborative project with the Meklar finished last year, and that gave us the plans for ECM Jammer Mark II! The only problem is our space fleet. Our Interdictor is at Crypto, but there are so many enemy fighters attacking, it can't destroy them all in time to keep them from firing on the dozens of transports I sent there, filled with election campaigners! Those fighters shot down more than twenty of my transports! It sure is a good thing the other 64 were able to convince Crypto's people to turn away from Meson and vote for me. Probably they were convinced by the way Meson ruthlessly ordered his fighters to fire on my peaceful campaign fleet. That wasn't the worst thing my fleet did though! Look and see! Against my express orders to never bombard civilian population, they ... wait a minute ... wait a minute! That's not a Darlok fleet! That's not an alien colony!

Does this mean I forgot to put up a defense base at my homeworld?! How come no one told me there was a Mrrshan fleet on the way?! We're supposed to be friends with the Mrrshans! I didn't even think I had to send any campaign workers over there! How could they betray me this way?! They killed a million innocent Darloks, not to mention those factories! I'll have to send a stern letter of complaint to Mirana right away!

2409: Well, I finally got around to building that missile base at home, and the Mrrshan probe fleet ran away. I never did send that stern letter though; I keep thinking it isn't strong enough, and then rewriting it, and then thinking I'm being too heavy handed, and ... well, you get the idea. Anyway, the attack fleet is gone now. Meson's fighters finally left Crypto too, after my Interdictor's dissipator field kept them from approaching my new citizens on the surface. Meson also called again, but I didn't have my translator handy, and I was right in the middle of a meeting, and all my advisors said to just say no to whatever he asked and get rid of him. They had a good point - Meson's pretty mean, and he's about to not be emperor of anything anyway since all the Psilons seem to prefer to be in my empire once our campaign workers tell them how things are run here - so I did.

2410: My good old black-cloak scientists up in Meklar space sent me the collaborative plans for Nuclear Engines in Machine Language, so that's pretty neat. I'm not sure what we'll use them for, since the fusion drives we worked out with the Psilons' help are so much more advanced, but that's okay. Maybe they can speed up our pizza delivery trucks or something. Oh, yeah! And something else happened this year!

All the Psilon people have joined us Darloks, and Meson's been thrown in prison for his war-mongering ... or ... exiled maybe? Something. Anyway, I won't be hearing from him again. The Psilons must be really happy now that they've joined up with us; together, we make a great galactic powerhouse! We'll unite the galaxy yet; just you wait and see!

2411: Stupid Ariel called on the holophone again. I couldn't be bothered to pick up my translator. He must have seen the writing on the wall when the Psilons voted Meson out of power, and begged me not to send any more campaign workers to Altair or something. I rejected whatever it is he was asking for. Sorry, but he declared war on me, and my Psilon and Darlok subjects and my Alkari subjects on Keeta and I have a new official policy for the galactic leadership club: No Tin-Pot Dictators Allowed!

2412: My missile base chased another bird-brained attack fleet away from Keeta. That'll be the last one, fortunately.

"Destroyed" is kind of a harsh way to put it, but the truth is, there's no Alkari empire anymore! We ... uh, did whatever it was; what was our policy on war-like emperors again? I forget ... anyway, prison or exile or whatever, we did it to Ariel, and all the Alkari are now happy citizens of my empire instead! They even taught us to make Dotomite Crystals (Range 7) which are kind of cute, if technologically obsolete.

2413: I've just about had it with Mirana! She sent 30 assault transports here to my homeworld, and a few of them even made it through my defenensive screen! We lost a million more people to their hand laser fire, for no reason! It's a good thing we all had emergency personal deflector shields and ion rifles to hold them off with, or it might have been even worse! Well, you know what this means! Time to start a new diplomatic campaign!

2415: Remember how I politely ceded the Paranar system to Mirana even though I had a colony ship of my own on the way? Well, I'll bet the Mrrshan population there will realize I really had first claim. And when we tell them about the massacres at my homeworld, I'm sure they'll turn away from their mean old empress right away! Of course, I know better now than to suppose Mirana will let me run a peaceful election campaign on one of her planets if she can help it! Good thing I have such good Pure Fusion diplomats ... and an Interdict cruiser ... and a bunch of fighters to protect the campaign transports ... arriving today!

That did it! The Mrrshans of Paranar, with their empress' oppressive military presence removed, all voted to join my empire instead! I notice there are less of them than when we spotted the world from space, which can only mean Mirana's forces attacked them to keep them from joining me. That's really the last straw. I'm going to have to deal with her the way I did with Meson and Ariel! Errr ... especially since she just called up and declared war on me.

2418: After what happened at Paranar, I don't think I have any choice but to get rid of Mirana's military as fast as I can! I cleared out Maretta two years ago with most of the Paranar fleet, and just this year, its people decided to join me! Plus, last year, I got some of my great shape-shifting spies to cut down on her homeworld's military - we have to act fast here, before Mirana turns her guns on more of her own people! Just look at what happened at Draconis this year, apparently just before we took control of its orbit!

Really horrifying, don't you think?

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Next: Uniting the Galaxy

Imperium 21 - Casting Ballots (and the Die!)

2398: Flush with success after winning over Proxima, our Diplomats carried on their work at Mentar itself! There were a lot more bases there than at Proxima - plus an armed battle cruiser! - but our steadfast diplomatic starships would not be swayed from their course.

With no further bases standing in the way, the cruiser could see our peaceful determination, and knowing it could not turn us away, chose instead to retreat.

2399: We had to repel another Alkari attack on Vox this year - this time including a pair of Warbird cruisers - but our fighters and Stinger bases dealt with the poor birds easily. It's high time we repaired relations there; though they won't arrive in time to influence the upcoming Galactic Council vote, a diplomatic mission is being dispatched to Keeta even as we speak.

2400: Time for our last, great pre-election diplomatic initiative! People of Mentar, your government refuses all overtures of peace! We know you are at heart a peaceful people who wish only fair exchange of knowledge and good-will! Will you leave off the ways of your oppressors and join with me?

Yyyyyessssssss! It appears they did! You can tell because they're wearing green cloaks now as a sign of solidarity. Good old Psilons! And the Newsdroid's right: That makes Mentar my ninth star system! Maybe I am on my way to controlling the galaxy! Plus, Mentar's people taught my scientists all kinds of Psilon secrets - like Uridium Fuel Cells (Range 8), Fusion Bomb, Neutron Blaster, and Ion Rifle technology! But more importantly, see my scientist on the right there? Looks like he's wearing an old-school military officer's uniform too, to show solidarity with the Psilons who are showing solidarity with me! I just love the way all my subjects get along so well together. I must be doing something right, no matter what the election's outcome turns out to be.

...

Wellll ... so I didn't win the election. In fact, only the Meklar emperor voted for me. That left me with exactly one vote, while I abstained with my five-vote veto, and everybody else backed Mirana in a disappointing attempt to thwart my peaceful intentions for the galaxy. I guess my diplomats will have their work cut out over the next couple of decades. But the good news is, with the fuel cells I recovered from Mentar, I got to meet INT-986!

The Aggressive Industrialist leader of the Meklar one-planet empire pointed out its homeworld's location (don't tell INT I already knew by process of elimination!) and even agreed to trade 30 BC per year with me! See? The diplomatic outlook is really improving!

2401: Well, the aliens keep forcing us to surgically remove their missile bases before they'll let our Diplomats land, but luckily we're good at those surgical strikes, and I'm told that the election campaign on Keeta is going great! The really funny thing is though, INT called me up to introduce itself, even though we were already trading. I think I just got Uridium cells so late last year that the Meklar emperor recorded, "Still no contact with the Darloks this year" on its cybernetic day planner and even after we'd made our agreements, took its day planner's word for what was happening instead of reality's. Also, I got a report on Meklar technology from one of my black-cloak scientist guys, and it looks like they're doing kind of all right for someone trapped on the wrong side of the nebula in the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Okay, so that's not saying much of anything. Ohhhhhh, yeah. And the new missile base at Mentar scared off a bunch of Psilon Imperial fighters. Good work, people of Mentar! You can see you've joined the winning team!

2402: More Alkari assault ships ran away from Vox, but also from Keeta, where my Diplomats are being protected by a space superiority fleet, a sad acknowledgment of the realities of war.

The really great news is, the people of Keeta saw how dumb the whole war is, and agreed to secede from their warlike empire, accepting protection from me! Like the newsdroid says, all the galaxy's leaders are taking note of what their people are doing, and like those people, preparing to merge with my empire! Hurray! I wonder if they'll all put on green cloaks like the Psilons and Alkari seem to do when they switch sides and join up with me. Anyway, as you can tell, the people of Keeta shared some of their knowledge with my scientists again; Warp Dissipator has great potential! It should let my ships stop attack fleets cold without having to kill anybody! All right! I guess this means it's time to send my Diplomats on to Altair!

Oh, Ariel called too after Keeta joined my empire, to ask me for something, but I couldn't find my universal translator for some reason. I was sure I put it on the table, but no. My Secretary of Defense happened to be in the room though, and luckily, he's learned to speak some Alkari! He said, "Ah, Ariel is asking if you would ... let's see ... exterminate the people of Keeta for him, because he ... um ... doesn't like them now that they've joined your empire." I asked if he was sure, because I would have thought Ariel would be asking for peace, but he said he was very sure, so I had to say no to Ariel, obviously. I wasn't sure how to do that, but luckily, the SoD found the universal translator just then! It had slipped off the table into his lap somehow. How funny!

2404: We lost twenty fighters in our defense fleet repelling an Alkari imperial attack at Keet last year, but we've got a Stinger base up there now, and another at Proxima, and that takes care of this year's attack fleets. Oh, and I forgot to mention one other thing.

I don't know why INT-986 suddenly hates me. What warnings does he mean? I don't remember any. Is this what the droid meant about merging with my empire? Cause it sure doesn't look that way to me!

2405: Still more attacks on Proxima and Keeta. When will Ariel learn? At least I'm still friends with good old Mirana! One of my black-cloak scientists up at Draconis just transmitted plans for Class III Deflector Shields in Mrrshanese, so the collaboration projects I restarted not too long ago are going great - plus I just signed Mirana up for a trade agreement increase - up to 275 BC!

2406: Meson called me up on the holophone, but just as I was going to answer, I got a really urgent message from my Secretary of Defense, to meet him in his office for an emergency meeting, so I told Meson to hold on, and hurried right over. He wasn't there though, and his secretary told me I must have misunderstood: The SoD was going to meet me! So I hurried back to the holochamber, and saw myself hanging up on Meson! But then it all made sense, because he shapeshifted back into the SoD, and explained, "He was just calling to yell insults at you. I got rid of him so we could cover the urgent matters of the Interdict 4 Dissipator Cruiser's first destination and the design I just created for a Pure Fusion combat-base-remover ship to fly ahead of our campaign workers." I was kind of surprised, because I would have expected Meson to be begging for peace after we stopped all his attacks and two of his planets joined our empire and everything, but I know my SoD would never lie to me!

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Next: The Ultimate Betrayal

Imperium 21 - Diplomacy

2385: My original black cloak scientist - I think it's the same guy - is still jet-setting around the Mrrshan empire, now collaborating with scientists up on Draconis to bring me Duralloy Armor designs in the usual Mrrshanese. I also found a nice, big, minimally habitable planet down at Crypto in the far southwestern corner of the galaxy. I'll try to get a colony down there, but honestly, I'll be very surprised if I can manage it before it goes to the Brains.

2386: Well, it's all fun and games until fighter pilots start coming home from the Vox defensive screen in urns - a few at first, and many more this year before the Turret, finally in place, got a grip on the largest fleet the birds have yet sent to that world. But at least we've by and large been winning our Alkari defensive war.

The Psilons sent too many ships to Rayden for my local forces to repel - about two hundred too many - and razed my latest colony to the planet's lifeless surface. Where millions of peacefully amorphous Darloks once lived, nothing but glass remains. It's high time we did something to bring a lasting peace!

Hmmm. After discussing the matter at great length with all of my advisors, I'm finally convinced: The best way to achieve peace is through the development of advanced technology. Specifically, the ability to deploy defense ships with high strategic speed will act as an effective deterrent - or obviating force if necessary - to alien attacks. So ... uh ... all I have to do is wait for some of my scientists to get in touch with me. I'd like to call up the propulsion teams, but they never leave a forwarding address ... and then I'm never sure who is a propulsion team, what with everyone always asking me what kind of scientist I want them to be....

2387: Well, at least they didn't make me wait! The black-cloak out in Psilon space is offering to be some kind of scientist already! He's willing to do anything but computer science and planetology, so it's awfully tempting ... the Psilons have have better improved industrial tech than me, personal deflectors, and weapons guaranteed to be an upgrade over what I've got already, and their propulsion guys do scattershot research, seemingly, with a bunch of useless range tech in addition to what I need. The safe bet would definitely be to collaborate with the guys from one of the other fields ... but fortune favors the bold!

I would like to take this opportunity to say, "Oh, yeah, baby!" No more waiting around for my ships to crawl across space! Sub-Light Drives are in - and you know what that means: That means Warp-2 transports, and defense ships running around at warp 3!

Oh, and the GNN droid keeps telling us all these statistical things. Last year, it was talking about advanced technology, where we were supposedly second to the Psilons, and now it's talking about fleet strength, where we're dead last - the brains have the lead on that one too - but honestly, I can't be bothered to pay any attention. Sorry. The main thing is, next year, we're going to finish a Deadland 3, and send it forth to reclaim Rayden as our own!

2389: Yet another Alkari fleet reached Vox this year, but I finally finished a missile base there, so even with 37 of their destroyers, there's nothing left to fear. Hopefully this will soon be true for Rayden also, where I built a colony this year for the second time; may it last forever this time ... or at least more than two years!

2390: Black Cloak the well-traveled reported from Fierias on the Mrrshan collaborations that yielded Merculite Missiles. The cats may not be good at much else, but they know their weapons! Hmmm ... now, what use will advanced weapons technology be to me?

2391: Well, there's an election coming up in less than a decade! You know what that means!

It's time to go out and do some campaigning with the other races! My advisors say these Warp-3 Diplomat smallcraft should be just the thing! I thought they could do without the inertial stabilizer, battle computer, and nuclear bomb that each one carries, but apparently they're necessary to qualify the quantum disruption associated with sub-light quasi-spacial field quotas. Whatever works, I guess. As long as they convince people to vote for me! Oh, and I took the advice of one of my black-cloak scientists; he said we should spend as heavily as we can on our cooperative projects with the Psilons, since there's some force field stuff they're working on which seems really promising!

2392: Wow! What a quick pay-off! One of the black-cloak guys is at Willow now, that ultra-poor Steppe way off in the west that the Psilons colonized with a big escort fleet last year, and he's managed to work with the Psilons to develop a Personal Deflector Shield! Plus, I was right that there's more than one of them, because another one reported from Paranar, with Mrrshanese plans for a Mass Driver! Our partners will keep getting better, too; the Psilons are going to just barely beat us to Crypto in the far southwest next year while we chase their fighters away from our Vox colony.

2395: Our first major diplomatic mission is underway!

It's a good thing we put those bombs and things on our Diplomats after all - the missile bases at Proxima tried to shoot at them! Luckily, we were able to clean up that misunderstanding - and the bases - and our first wave of election campaigners will arrive to spread the word there soon. It feels kind of weird not to spend any scientific collaboration money on the kitties though. We've gotten along so well for so long. But just last year, after finishing the cooperative project to develop Stinger Missiles, my Mrrshan-region Black Cloaks reported that the Mrrshan scientists didn't have any more shared projects in mind. Hopefully, we can come up with something later. I guess the idea is, anyway, we're concentrating all our efforts on the Brains: Our Diplomats, and the election campaigners, and now our research collaborators ... although of course since we're technically at war with Meson, the Black Cloak guys had to shape-shift into Meklar and pretend to be cyborgs while they were working out the details of Hydrogen Fuel Cells (Range 4) down at Crypto. It's pretty obsolete technology, but it's an important start, for establishing trust and that kind of thing.

2396: See what I mean? With trust fully established, our pretending-to-be-Meklar Black Cloak Guys worked together with the Psilons to get Fusion Drives at Willow this year! Now, that's a major step forward, in just one year!

2397: Great news! My election campaign at Proxima is a huge success!

The wise Psilon people of Proxima 5 have come to realize they can't in honor follow an emperor who insists on war with the peaceful Darlok people, and have therefore abandoned the war and petitioned to join my empire instead! They've even taken to wearing cloaks, sort of like the old-fashioned Darlok soldiers', apparently, in some kind of tribute to history and how we've abandoned war and everything. I gladly accepted their petition, naturally, and they turned over the plans for Hyper-X Rockets and Improved Industrial Tech 8 from their factories. This is truly a great date in galactic history!

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Next: The Ballots are Cast ... and so is the Die!

Imperium 21 - Race Relations

2379: Behold the time of reckoning! Beta Ceti met the first Alkari attack fleet!

Luckily, our shields made their lasers and gats completely useless for planetary attack. The only weapons my bases had to worry about in that fleet were the 20 nuclear missiles aboard the colony ships ... and my SoD reported that even if none of the missiles were wasted against my fighters, and the Alkari were so amazingly lucky that every shot actually hit its target (thanks to our electronic counter-measures, they were expected to miss the defensive platforms with more than half) they still wouldn't even take out one of our bases. We couldn't blow up their ships very quickly, but it didn't really matter; their starforce was forced to retreat.

That wasn't the biggest Alkari threat to one of our worlds, but it's also not the really good news from this year! Black Cloak's buddy - with similar taste in clothing style, I notice - has already completed his first collaborative project on Proxima with the Psilons! He asked me to pick a type of scientist for him to be, just like old Black Cloak used to, except he gave me a choice of all six fields! Well, I happened to remember that the Psilons already knew about bringing life to dead worlds like Rayden, and nothing else in the field I couldn't already do, so I decided to take a flyer on planetology.

Just as I hoped! Controlled Dead Environment will now allow me to spread life and therefore hope even further through the galaxy! It's funny though - this guy doesn't just share Black Cloak's clothing tastes: He also eschewed Darlokian! For whatever reason, he sent me the notes on our new tech in Psilonese.

2380: Should I be wearing a black cloak too? Is it the new style? We've got yet another researcher like that, unless the guy from Proxima's got all the way over to Mentar since last year. He refused to be a planteologist, but was willing to try anything else. So I went with computers to see if I could speed up my universal translator, and he gave me plans for Battle Computer Mark II - in Psilonese, just like his friend ... or just like him, from last year. It's hard to know for sure which is which. It's not easy ruling a race of shapeshifters. But the thing is, there's another scientist in black out there - in fact, he's up at Altair! I wouldn't have thought the Alkari would want to cooperate with us after declaring war and all, but our clever science teams found a way around that pretty easily!

See, they knew it was to both our benefits to work together, so they just shapeshifted into Psilons! They knew even the xenophobes like the Alkari would be willing to cooperate with their allies! And I got the designs for an Inertial Stabilizer out of it, too! You can tell from this that even when we're at war, we can always benefit from close, friendly cooperation. Plus, we keep discovering things - like Willow, a green star with a nice little Steppe world in orbit way off in the west of the galaxy. The funny thing is, it's not really fertile, even though - kind of like Stalaz - it has literally no mineral wealth anywhere on the entire planet! Maybe it's because it's so cold there....

2382: Oops! I forgot to mention one other thing that's been happening over these past few years. It's just been so busy, I haven't had time! See, while we were building a Deadlander at Beta Ceti - it's on its way to Rayden now, after finishing last year - and tricking their scientists into mutually beneficial cooperation with us, the Alkari were ... um ... attacking our newest, smallest colony. Again and again. And again. Our Turret couldn't even get there in time, so we had to hold them off with Gunscouts.

Luckily, we had dozens of them, reinforced almost every year, and Ariel was only sending probing fleets. We'll make friends with those birdies yet ... someday. Blowing up their attack ships is a good way to start, right? I mean ... they have to give it up as a lost cause eventually....

2383: What was I saying about our scientists working with the Alkari again? There was something about the reason I was sure they'd work with Psilons ... something something allies something ... wait. ... You know, I actually asked the Psilons to break that alliance more than once. I told them it would only lead to grief. They might have listened if I'd said we should really go to war on the same side against the birdies, because aliens are insane, but I didn't ask about that; I thought it wouldn't really be the honorable thing. I guess it's a moot point now though. Two-front war it is. Plus, when a Newscout finally made it up to Tao, that blue star way off in the north beyond the nebula, it turned out to be one of those annoying star systems whose planets are poisoned by their mineral richness. This one had so much uranium and stuff that the planet was completely irradiated. I don't think we'll ever be living there - not even with or quantum-whatsit algosomethings telling us the Meklar home star must be right next door.

2384: My Deadlander's finally gotten to Rayden, now my seventh colony! We'll take care of all those silly minerals on the surface and make it a lush, thriving world of ... wait a minute ... really? An invitation to what, now? For me?

I'm flattered, really. Even though nobody actually went so far as to vote for me, and even though the Meklar and I were the only ones abstaining - Ariel and Meson hate me so much, they voted for Mirana to spite me, and of course she was trying to vote herself in - but it's still an honor to be nominated in the first place. And holding a veto with five of fourteen votes is pretty nice too.

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Next: Time for Some Real Diplomacy!

Imperium 21 - New ... errr ... Friends

2362: My black-cloaked scientist is back at Fierias! He sure does get around! Too bad he had to be a munitions physicist this time, although I really like the Mrrshanese plans he sent me for a Neutron Pellet Gun. What we really need is more construction and planetology and propulsion science - or just a whole lot of propulsion - so we can get a colony lander up to Vox! I have a feeling that star's going to be really important for making contact with other aliens as soon as we can.

Okay, so we have been getting a ship ready to head up there already, and it will be finished in just a year or two, but I feel kind of funny building it. That Farlander 1.0 is kind of ... big....

2364: My engineers found a way to shave a year off the Farlander's build time - I think we temporarily cut down on empire-wide Friendly Cooperation with the Mrrshans spending or something, and the Secretary of Defense submitted a long-range laser fighter design too, thanks to our NPGs, so a fleet of the new Gunscouts will be following the Farlander out toward Vox, and we'll keep producing more of them every year! I'm not sure why we want to do this, since I'd really rather just be friendly, but after all, Mirana had a bunch of armed ships when she made her Paranar colony, and she must have had a good reason. My advisors explained it to me too. It had something to do with quantitative equalization, but I don't remember exactly.

2365: Old Black Cloak's at Paranar again. I don't suppose there could be two of him, could there? Anyway, he's a planetologist this time. He sent the plans for Controlled Barren Environment in Mrrshan handwriting again, and said the cats just developed it! Brand-new technology! I guess he must mean he's been collaborating with them, which is obviously good news. It'll be great for future peace.

2368: It seems we're not the only ones making discoveries! Ariel the Xenophobic Diplomat and his Airborn Alkari Acrobats just came up with advanced fuel cells or something, and greeted me ... errrr ... kind of icily. They wouldn't agree to a trade agreement or anything. Well, we'll just have to overcome these little obstacles. I turn up massive Friendly Cooperation spending on them. Anyway, it's not all bad news!

Ariel pointed out the location of Altair - that's his homeworld - and admitted he only has two planets in his empire. It looks so cute! Plus, the Farlander finally reached Beta Ceti, where we built another Gunscout to support it just this year, and they're making the looooong journey up to Vox together. I still can't quite believe I built a colony ship in a dreadnought hull. If only my construction engineers would get back in touch with me!

2373: Black Cloak's kitty collaborations are going great; he just presented me with Improved Terraforming +10 from a Paranar lab this year. For some reason though, in spite of all this cooperation, my paranoid Sec. o' Def. still isn't happy with our Gunscout fleets. I asked if he wanted NPGs on something, but that wasn't it; in fact, he said he wanted a ship with more lasers - gatling lasers, actually - plus our best computers and a battle scanner to aim them. He said otherwise, we'll never actually hit the Alkari. I didn't understand why we'd want to hit them, but I had production to spare in the empire, so I went ahead and finished a Turret 1.0 cruiser this year to his specifications just to humor him ... and wouldn't you know it? This is the year Ariel picked to declare war on me! Maybe I should pay closer attention to my SoD.

2376: Really great news, everybody!

Our giant colony ship finally made it to Vox, and I've got six stars in my empire now! It even gave me contact with Meson, the Honorable Diplomat in charge of the Psilon imperium! He's willing to trade 25 BC per year with me, and to give me a look at the stars in his empire! It turns out that, just like Ariel, he's got a cute little 2PE. Oh, and speaking of Ariel, it's a good thing Beta Ceti's all done with its terraforming!

The Turret is making the slow trek up to Vox - it's the trailing fleet on the way up from Beta Ceti - which is a good thing, as you can see from the two Alkari fleets already heading there from Keeta! - and the biggest birdy fleet of all is bound straight for my fertile terran colony! Luckily, I'll be able to send transports up to Vox and still get some defenses into place, since Beta is so well-developed already ... uh ... and because apparently the SoD had it pre-build most of a missile base in anticipation of something like this. Who is he, Nostradarlok or somebody?

2377: The 'Lok in Black is at it again, collaborating with the kitties! He just sent in the designs for Irridium Fuel Cells (Range 6) in the usual Mrrshanese. Oh, and he says one of his colleagues is operating in Psilon space! This is great news, since we could definitely use more collaboration with other species.

2378: Wow ... the Psilons have made a couple new discoveries even since just last year! Is it a bad thing that even with just two worlds, they're better than everybody else at everything?

Also, my SoD is having a fit. For some reason, he thinks their alliance with the Alkari is a bad thing. We're building Birdshot 1 NPG fighters with battle computers and everything, but my SoD is babbling about splitting up our defenses between helpless Vox and vital Beta Ceti and rich Rayden. He must be confused; Rayden doesn't even have a colony. I guess the Psilons have good enough technology to build a colony there now, but isn't that a good thing? The world is so lifeless as it is. And really, there are only four or five different Alkari fleets headed our way, as far as I can see. How bad can that possibly be?

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Next: How Bad Indeed?

Imperium 21 - More than One Way

2341: Still no word from any of my planetologists ... or propulsion physicists ... or construction engineers ... or computer scientists, for that matter. At least, not since the beginning of the year, when they sent Deep Space Scanner blueprints to me by express messenger. It was kind of strange that the messenger was wearing a Computer Scientist cloak-brooch. Maybe it was because they chose a special messenger who was very trustworthy, and they wanted me to know. Even so, it's not easy to justify technology spending with four different high-priority projects simultaneously on hold. All we've got going are the projects to develop Class II Deflector Shields and Gatling Laser turrets that I heard were our only choices two years ago.

Outside of research though, things are going great! Take the population of those beachfront resorts at Stalaz; the average IQ there is apparently stratospheric, even though they seem to be major party hot-spots ... and the population just keeps growing!

2344: I'm finally starting to catch up with Mirana: Fertile Beta Ceti is now flying the Darlok flag, and the very first Lander my people built is already well on its way down to Kulthos from Paranar, where it visited the Mrrshan colony instead of building one of its own. I also thought I was going to build my third Lander last year, but apparently one of my administrators cut back the project's funding just before it was due to finish for some bureaucratic reason - something about avoiding a quintissential year of quasi-maintenance for a ship without a destination in quantitative range prior to the completion of Beta Ceti's quantum warp beacon. Obviously a scientific analysis, so I just let it go at that. Anyway, the ship was finished this year, and I've given it orders to head for Aurora!

2347: My first Lander's long journey is finally over, as its cryogenically preserved colonists arrive at Kulthos, and stretch and shapeshift into various forms to work out the kinks from their long, frozen sleep.

2349: Last year's scout work at Psilon Proxima was followed up this year by two major discoveries! For one thing, our new deflector shields are finally ready! For another ... well, that was strange. I'll have to think about it a little more and try to understand it before I can even try to explain.

2350: My scientists are the best! And just when I thought they were shirking on me!

We finally have gatling lasers ready, and we're ready to get started on ... on ... um ... is this the same holo-feed? Why am I looking at the new star of the Stalaz Beach Volleyball Team? A moment ago, I was talking to the head of research at the Stalaz weapons technology base; and ... yes, it must be a quasi-quantum disruption in the communications line, I suppose. Fancy a volleyball star knowing words like that though. Anyway, while I wait for the connection to my weapons researchers to come back online, let me explain about our other discovery from last year. You see, I finally got word from one of my long-lost scientists! Strangely enough, he was at the Mrrshan homeworld of Fierias, and asked me what kind of scientist I wanted him to be! He gave me the choice of weapons or computers, and naturally I chose computers since it's been so long since I heard from that team. It turns out, he'd developed ECM Jammer Mark I, which is odd for three reasons: First, I thought I'd told the CS guys to work on robotic controls. Second, I thought they told me ECM 1 technology wasn't in our ... um, quotidian tree. Third, he was wearing a jet black cloak and mantle instead of the usual scientist blue and gold. Oh, yeah. And I had to use my universal translator because the blueprints he sent were all written in Mrrshan. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation, and I'll hear about it as soon as I get in touch with my scientists again. I hope it happens soon though. Right now, there's no one working on anything!

We'll need some new kind of good news pretty soon anyway; the population boom at those resort locations on Stalaz has got to be played out: They're pretty much all filled up already!

2351: Hey, there's good news after all! Aurora's part of my empire now! That makes one more world than Mirana! Plus, I'm sure those scientists will turn up any day now!

2358: Well, that's funny. That same scientist from Fieras was over at Paranar last year, asking me if I wanted him to be a construction engineer or a weapons scientist. It's been longer since I heard from the construction guys, so I picked them, and he sent me the plans for Improved Industrial Tech 9, also all written in Mrrshan, also not in what they'd called our quotidian tree. I guess he likes dressing in black. Anyway, relations with the Mrrshans had gotten pretty good, so I called up Mirana and quadrupled my trade agreement with her, but it wasn't until just now that I looked over those IIT blueprints and saw a note from the black cloak science guy - in coded Darlok, unlike the rest of the document - that trading my junk technologies for Mirana's would make it easier for him to concentrate on better stuff when he collaborates with the Mrrshan science teams. So I'm giving Mirana something I know must be in her quotidian tree - Class II Deflector Shields - for her Hand Lasers.

I hope it'll pay off soon!

2360: Wow, that black-cloaked scientist guy works quickly all right! He's still at Paranar, sending plans over for Hyper-V Rockets! I still don't understand why everything he sends me is in Mrrshanese. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not the same handwriting as the plans for Hand Lasers, which doesn't make sense at all, unless he can shapeshift his handwriting as well as his body. The weirdest part is that Mirana called afterward to protest my "persistent weapon espionage attempts." I tried to reassure her that I wasn't trying to spy on anyone or anything, but for some reason she didn't believe me.

She's feeling troubled, but I'm sure that will change when she sees there's no spying happening. As you can see, I'm spending heavily on mutually beneficial research and friendship development with her, as I have been every year for the past decade. I'm not sure what those buttons and read-outs used to say - probably there were embarassing typos or something - but my loyal retainers fixed them so I can see just where our money is going, and that's the really important thing.

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Next: Making New... errr ... Friends...

Imperium 21 - Resting on Our Laurels

"The gamma-shift polarity algorithms indicate..."
"You forgot quantum."
"What?"
"Quantum. Should be quantum gamma-shift polarity algorithms. Probably want a quasi in there somewhere too. Can we make that fit? You can never have too many Q words."
"Look, the meeting with the emperor is in twenty three minutes. I don't have time to rewrite every sentence to put in more Qs! Why can't we just present the scientific data we've got? We've got hard facts, backed up by solid experimentation. What do we need with pseudoscientific gibberish? Can't we just tell the emperor what we know?"
"Right. Okay, I guess you're new at this, so I'm going to cut you some slack, but you've got to get this straight. The emperor's scientific credentials consist of three hours a week for half a semester in a Physics for Poets class at Easy Street University and the stray bits he's managed to pick up from watching Mysteries of Space in the holo chamber when his display selection unit is on the fritz. His ability to evaluate scientific data is comparable to an unusually intelligent spaniel's."
"..."
"If our all-knowing emperor even thinks he has some vague idea of what we're doing, he's going to try to tell us how to do it, or interpret something for himself. You can understand why that would be bad, right?"
"..."
"Last time someone tried to explain solar phenomena in plain Darlokian, he said what we needed was a direct interface, and ordered the entire research team to fly their orbital lab into the sun."
"I'll see what I can fit in about quarks."

The Chronicles of Ref Blobby Operator the 21st, High Emperor of L. Nobilis:
2300: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! It seems that some quantum gamma-shifted, um, polarity algorithms are indicating a ... er ... quasi-chaotic field state in the quazar displacement quark signatures ... or ... something. Chaotic field states are bad enough, but quasi-chaotic! That must be much worse. Um, so anyway, it seems like what all of this means is that there are aliens in the galaxy trying to conquer it and things. At least, that's what the astronomers explained. We have to stop being lazy and do something! Luckily, we have a Colony Ship sitting around taking up space for some reason, and a couple of interstellar scouts. The Colony Ship looks suspiciously like the solar research station I ordered into the sun a few years back, with the huge engines they said were needed to reach the right depth in the sun's core, but the astronomers assured me that's not right. They say we haven't heard from the solar physicists because they're still trying to find a workaround for the quad-oblique angularity interference from quantum dimensional effects surrounding the quasi-coronal ... thing. I don't remember, but it's obviously important, with all those q-words in it. Anyway, there's only one place the colony ship can reach with its quintuple quantum warp beacon whatsit, so it's off to the green star with our colonists!

2303: Yay!

It's Stalaz, a nice, big, fertile ocean world, without any annoying minerals to poison the waters or get in the way! This will be the best colony ever! We're doing great! Oh, and you can also see my Scouts fanning out in pretty two-three-two waves, toward the stars they could reach before we set up our Stalaz beacon thingy.

2306: Looks like the quasi-chaotic pitch country ... or ... whatever it was ... was right! There really are aliens with space ships in the galaxy! My Scout chased a Psilon Scout away from the fertile world of Beta Ceti, which is even bigger than Stalaz, even though it has enough yucky minerals for everybody! Plus there's volcanic Berel and the Paranar steppe and another poor ocean at Kulthos, except not as big or fertile because it's not as poor as Stalaz. Except that doesn't explain Beta Ceti. Well, that's not the point. The point is, what great places for colonies! Oh, yeah, and because of some scientific reason I don't understand having to do with distances between stars and our beacony things, my Propulsion scientists are telling me they want to see what kinds of technologies are possible, and they need a little funding to figure it out. They'll probably want a lot more next year, but it's worth it for those planets, really. Plus the two Newscouts that got built last year are already on their way to have a look at the stars in the southeast!

2307: Turns out we're going to be working on Deuterium Fuel Cells even though it's harder to do than the hydrogen kind. Apparently, there's a quantum flux between the fourth and fifth parsec or something. But more importantly, it's a good thing I left a Newscout at Paranar! He had to chase away a Mrrshan scout and everything! It's great that we're winning all our fights already!

2309: Great news! We found something called a Guardian!

I'm sure those things it was projecting at my Newscout are Friendship Beams. I just don't understand why I haven't heard from the ship since then. Maybe the crew is still celebrating. Anyway, we're finding out about some more great stars, like Gienah with all the mineral-heavy lava flows on its primary world's surface and Primodius with its asteroid field, and the desert of Aurora far away. My planetologists are pretty excited about starting work for me, so I set them loose on the pilot project they keep discussing.

2310: What do you know? It looks like work's already starting on Improved Eco Restoration! It was the obvious thing to do with no barren worlds anywhere to be seen. I'll give my construction engineers something to do while I'm at it. I'd love the chance to build cheaper factories! Still no word from the Newscout that met the Guardian. That must be some kind of party! I'm sure we'll hear back soon though.

2323: Well, we've been working on Reduced Industrial Waste 80% for a dozen years since the engineers couldn't figure out a way to do cheap factories. I did get a couple more Newscouts last year though, and sent them off toward the edge of known space since our new fuel cells will be ready any day now! But the best news of all just came in this year!

Our planetologists have worked out a way to improve our cleanup techniques! I asked them what they think we ought to research next, and the chief planetology researcher told me, "Whatever," but I didn't think there was any such thing as Quasi-Quantum Whatever technology. I looked it up on the Shadow Net, but it didn't get any hits - not even the usual pages and pages of indecipherable techno-science language like "meters" and "grams" and whatever - so I decided to risk asking my planetologists, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I'm sure they'll be back soon though. Anyway, in totally unrelated good news, there's apparently a brand new Stalaz beachfront community for super-early retirees!

2329: Wow, that sure took long enough: Our new fuel cells are ready! The new acting chief of the propulsion science team just presented them to me. It's weird that the new guy would be the acting chief; he doesn't have any seniority, so he must really be a hot-shot genius prodigy. But maybe he's just a great politician. When I asked him what he thought the best new project for his team would be, he said that he fully trusted me to make the decision without his advice. He said it very nicely - very flattering - and I sort of looked away so I could shapeshift back into a more composed form without a blush on it, but wouldn't you know it? When I looked back, he was gone! In fact, my butler was standing right where he had been! I asked where the acting chief guy had gone, and my butler said, "No doubt hurrying to put your plan into motion." That was a big relief, because I hadn't realized that I had a plan. But after he hurried off toward the spaceport at top speed, I thought about it and realized my butler was supposed to be on vacation that day! I guess he just likes working for me too much to ever get away until the last minute. Oh, and the Stalaz beach communities keep growing. It's funny; I'd have thought they'd be much more exclusive! How many Darloks can afford to retire so early?

2331: Things are really going well for us: L. nobilis will finish up all its factory infrastructure next year while it begins assembling the hull for our very first Lander colony ship! The news is going to be full of our good work, obviously.

... Wow. I guess those quark signatures or whatever they were really knew their stuff. There are aliens who call themselves Mrrshans out there, with colonies in three different star systems already, and we're just now starting work on our first Lander! We'd better get moving!

2333: Hey, we found the new Mrrshan colony! It's at the poor jungle world of Maretta - another fertile planet; there seem to be a lot around here. Well, except for Rayden off in the west. It's a dead world, so choked with mineral richness, no life can survive on its surface. Yieech. Well, with another race so close by, we should get to work on learning to communicate with them. My language experts all say the best way to do that is by developing qauntum quasi-conductive quintuple-processors to analyze their speech techniques, so we're getting our computer research started right away.

2337: This is great! The first real news since we discovered the Iranha asteroid belt a couple years back! The Mrrshans built a colony at Paranar! My Newscout tried to tell them that's just where our Lander was planning to go, but the fighter, destroyer, and cruiser escorting their colony ship misunderstood and chased it away. Luckily, that won't be a problem anymore! When our construction engineers came in to report they had reduced our industrial waste levels successfully, they also revealed an even more important discovery: They'd found a Universal Translation Device hiding under the couch! So we're still working on the Deep Space Scanner my computer scientists planned out for me three years ago, but we can already talk to the Mrrshans now, and in fact their ruthless technologist empress Mirana agreed to trade 25 BC per year with me! I was going to celebrate with the engineers, but they all had disappeared. I guess it would have been impolite to watch me chatting with Mirana. They'll be back to tell me what they think of the new research project I've planned for them any day.

2338: Hey, one of my Newscouts got a look at Keeta!

It has an artifacts world in orbit, with an Alkari colony! The birds don't want to talk to me yet, but as you can see, Mirana was kind enough to share the names and locations of her four stars with me. I thought about telling her she could run a great hotel, but thought better of it at the last minute. Anyway, on to other projects! It's high time our scientists got to work on forcefield and weapon technologies!

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Next: There's More than One Way to ... Discover ... Things...